Birthdays
Today is my birthday!
What to say about birthdays? Well another year has flown by and now I am the ripe old age of 29. I think that the biggest lesson I took away from my 28th year was that life happens in the blink of an eye. As soon as you think that you have a solid foundation for the world you may find that the world will go into a completely different direction.
Rhian and I were engaged to wed this time last year. We were scrambling to make sure that everything would be as perfect as can be given the circumstances we were in. November last year I was 5 months from moving away from England and heading back to America. At the time we thought that we would do long distance and make it work until we could find a better option for the both of us. She was working in a company that she liked very much and I wasn’t trying to convince her to come with me, I feel that if I tried to force my opinion down her throat she would develop a resentment towards me for limiting her path in her career. It was a hard decision to do long distance and we had talked about it for about 6 months prior to that point.
We only had 3 months until the wedding was meant to happen. Neither of us had any money and we scrapped up what we had and booked a cheap little venue in the nearby town. It was meant to occupy only us and two witnesses. Not ideal by any stretch of the word, especially for Rhian. We did not want to have what was turning out to be a subpar wedding but we focused on why we were getting married and that provided us with more than enough reason to deal with the circumstances and stay grateful for what we had together.
As the day grew nearer, we had to meet with the city council to discuss the details of the venue. They informed us that the venue we had was not available and that they were deeply sorry for the miscommunication. I pulled out my nearly maxed out credit card and swiped for a venue that was triple the price of the original but still reasonable for our low income. We ended up booking a venue that could house 30 people and only cost 800 GBP. This hurt my wallet, but at least we could have friends and family that were in the area attend.
My friends and family were almost all back in the states and I was limited to my good friends I had made at the base in England. Rhian surprised me a few days before the wedding with my best friend from my childhood. She took me on a scavenger hunt through multiple towns and we eventually arrived at our friends house. She handed me a poem that read something along the lines of
He has been a brother to me as he was for you
Now lets walk down the aisle and say I do
I was still so confused and then my buddy Dustin came into the room to surprise me. I was so shocked and it was such a nice way to kick off the wedding festivities.
The wedding went off without an issue. Weather kept up for the photos afterward and then we headed out to a nearby restaurant to enjoy some food with the friends and family that could attend. We were over the moon to be married and have each other for the rest of our lives.
We still had to work with the long distance that was just a few months away at this point. It was fast approaching and the more we ignored it, the faster it crept up. Soon it was the middle of March and I was only a week away from heading off without my love.
As I was walking into the office for what I thought would be the last few days; I was told by my coworkers that the virus that was spreading throughout Europe was now affecting England so much that all travel has been suspended for at least 3 months. My date to depart the UK was now pushed back, I had more time to be with my wife. I called Rhian and let her know the good/bad news depending on which perspective you relate to; for us it was good news for the immediate circumstance that we found ourselves in.
I should add that so much effort was put into trying to stay in the UK up until this point. Prior to accepting my fate that I was bound to America, I applied for three special forces jobs the previous year. The idea behind it was that at least it would reset the clock on my dwell time in England and I could then be re-stationed in country without compromising any regulations. However the universe had different plans for me and that is why I resorted to the fate I was in.
Now with the 3 months to work out what our new course of action ought to be, Rhian and I got to work on trying to extend my tour one last time. It was immediately turned down by my leadership. Plan B was to see about getting her a visa and outline just how long that would take. The local legal office was unable to provide any help as the laws were so fluid and with COVID-19 we were in new frontiers.
I was recommended a visa lawyer from a friend and I was reluctant to pursue that as I felt that it would be too costly for us. After trying to complete the visa paperwork ourselves we threw our hands up and gave in to the fact that we were in over our heads. We called the lawyers office and scheduled a zoom meeting. A week later we discussed the details with the specialist in visa law and felt so much better about the timeline as it was almost guaranteed that she would be able to come with me in May because of the military clause in the law. Basically the clause states that the spouse of a military member is offered expedited efforts to comply with their timeline.
May was fast approaching and Rhian and I were in the same boat that we were in back in March. No visa and no sight of getting one anytime soon. Then COVID came to play and locked down the country in a big way. This extended us for another 2 months; we rang the lawyer and told him of the extension and he said that it should be able to be closed out by that time. Rhian and I finally were feeling that everything may be working in our favor.
In June I went down to London to complete the visa interview; Rhian came with as support but was denied entry and had to wait for me to get out 3 hours later. The embassy in London is this massive modernist building of glass with steel lined structuring webbing through the massive mass of windows like a web. Upon getting through security I was on my way up the steps and into this titanic building. Entering the building I found no one it as a positively empty building. I felt like I was in a twilight zone episode, a sole guard sat in an office chair and directed me to an elevator to the fifth floor (or maybe it was the third…It doesn’t matter). Sitting in a waiting room with my book in hand to occupy myself for what I thought would be a short trip, after all I had an appointment in 5 minutes with the interviewer. Thirty minutes passed and I started to get concerned that I was going to be missed if I didn’t say anything. I went to one of the 6 windows where a nice man greeted me,
“Can I help you?”
I have an interview today for my wife’s visa
Ahh that will be later on today…We are focusing on the easier tasks as we are undermanned due to COVID
Oh…Should I just standby then?
Yes. We will call you up.
I waited for 3 hours and then was called up for a 20 minute interview. I was a little annoyed but the fact that it was over and there was no issues with the paperwork outweighed the time that felt wasted. I met back up with Rhian and we made our way back home.
July was upon us. We needed to get a visa or Rhian was not going to be able to stay in America. The lawyer suggested we buy a plane ticket with a return ticket within 90 days as that was the maximum time she could be in country without a visa.
To start to wrap this up as I feel that I have gone down a rabbit hole as I typically do, we got the tickets and she stayed for about 60 days and headed back for her interview and visa processing. She has since returned to America and we are reunited with a new visa and green card on the way.
At the beginning of this story I said that life has a way of getting unpredictable and we as a people can only ride the current and steer the course as much as possible with the river of fate. In our case, we had postured for long distance and life came swooping in with a different plan. I remain so grateful for all the blessings I have received, especially in the past year. There is so much in the world to get down about, but what about the silver linings that we have in our lives that keep us charging forward into the great unknown? I learned from this year that I only have control of my attitude and actions in this world, but the external forces that dictate the outside environment can and will adjust my course. So hold those you love dear close. Chase that dream that seems to be off in the horizon. Lastly, don’t ever give up when life seems to be working against you. You are stronger than you think, and you can handle what is thrown at you more times than not. If not, then look for a helping hand. Someone may be able to help you through to the other side.
Take care,
Bryan
